Life in Complex – really complex

I have been staying in one of the complex in Bangalore which consists of more than 2000 flats. After staying and observing things for 2 months, below are the list of my findings:

Where you will see at least one relocation truck (vehicle) in a day.
Where sometimes maids are more attractive than her mal-kin.
Where most of the maids carry flashy Chinese brand mobiles.
Where maid has to pay a bribe to security watchman so that he can recommend them for newly relocated couples.
Where ladies have more than one maid (including a full time maid for their children).
Where ladies rather than doing household work, prefers to burn calories (and husband’s money) in gym.
Where in the evening you will find couples taking a brisk walk in the surrondings.
Where neighbors are least bothered about you and maintain the safe distance.
Where there is an unwritten rule to carry infant in a baba-gadi.
Where there are various departments; like maintenance etc. and these are meant to make your life miserable.
Where no Society residents smiles at each other, but prefers to stare at each other.
Where your status is judge by the car you drive, the clothes you wear.
Where your car is considered as your extended personality.
Where residents are constantly trying to change other members, rules etc. rather than changing their own behavior and attitude.
Where your complex should be registered in site like Commonfloor.com, and residents always complains about the facilities and other things, but rarely acts to improve them.
Where everyone is aware of their own right, but they are conveniently ignorant about their responsibilities.

Continued…..

How to counter our parents encounter

After more than 12 years of married, oh sorry successful married life. I still faced a dilemma of answering or countering some of the basic difficult questions. One major amongst them is how to defend our spouses allegation against our parents. Here i am talking about usual bahu v/s in-laws famous interactions (read as nok-zok). I always wonder when parents wed their near and dear ones with lot of enthusiasm and money, others call it 'big fat Indian wedding'. How the matter worsens after couple of years. What happens to happy and smiling faces of wedding day? Where that smile goes? More over we hardly see any saas-bahu relationship going against the usual flow. After searching the web I did not get any convincing answers. So I have come with my own possible approaches in these tricky situations.

First let me be clear not all answers has been tried by me. So I am not sure of practical use of them. Having said that let's start dealing with such situations. As in every case there is no good or bad answer, all depends on situation and how you both handle it. There are various approaches in this scenario. Let's deal with one by one:

First and traditional approach is to be in attacking mode. Like, 'no other husband will listen such non-sense, since I am very kind and reasonable (don’t loose opportunity to blow your trumpet) you can express your feelings'. Another way is to compare apples with apples. Example: you should see so-and-so's in-laws, after marriage her life is hell and all their decisions are dominated by in-laws. So you are in much better condition, at least be happy for it. One more thing you can do is, even my in-laws are no god, and start complaining about them, if possible with real examples. Like on that day, when we visited your house etc.etc.
Also you can mention the pressures you have from your job, career opportunities ahead of you, tensions in office (these are the points used to get sympathy). If you can, don’t forget to mention the expectations your parents have from their bahu and how tough is to defend you in some situations. Here again mention some examples, like his/her in abilities to cook, taking responsibilities etc.
Let me warn you above approach will not lead you anywhere; in fact it will worsen the matter. So better stay away from it!

Second and still used by many is to be on defensive as well as on offensive, switching the modes. Let me give you some example. You can mention no one is perfect in this world. Everyone has their own grey areas. We have to cope with it in life. Or, you cannot expect them to change at this age; we have to do Adjustment, life is all about adjustments etc. etc. They have taken pain for growing me up (and now rest of the pain is been taken by spouse), i am their only son/daughter.

Third and last, a more matured approach would be to get amused and confuse your spouse. Here you have to pretend that you are looking at this problem with larger vision than your spouse. Make statements like, i wonder how these problems exists in each and every home? No wonder today's TV serials are cashing it on. Does any one on this earth have ever found solution to these on-going issues? Has anyone done any research on this? This way you can run away from real issue and confuse the partner so that he/she will loose interest in it.

With my limited knowledge i have tried to cover all the points. Though this article does not cover differences due to love marriage, going little deeper, marriage in different caste, religion. Different financial status of 2 families. Due to lack of experience I am unable to help you countering such differences. You can try with techniques given above.

In all these fights, does anyone care for the poor person who cannot take anyone’s side. Interestingly the spose always thinks that his/her is not taking their side and parents things the same way. This is the only point where both the parties unanimously agrees. Where as he/she is sandwiched between 2 parties. Now a day, I left eating sandwiched, as it reminds me of my poor stand and my inability to deal with such situations. One thing is sure no one cares about the person who stuck in between, like punching bag. How does it feel to him/her when his/her mother/father's mention in not so decent behavior? Or sometimes seeing the actual behavior? It is very hard for him to believe to see the same person he has loved and cared for whole life in darker shade. And no one cares the pain in our heart.
No wonder more and more married couples are following meditation and spirituality these days.
Any takers?

Criticism and Denial

Recently I went to collect my 10 year old son’s school books and uniform. As usual there was heavy rush and chaos. Well let me explain the process they were following. It was simple token system, for first come first serve basis and school security was distributing tokens as we enter in the school premises. We were the last to enter and our token number was near 100, while current number which was going was in twenties.

All the parents were given proper sitting arrangements. As we took our seats we found growing dissatisfaction from parents on on-going process. Initially I too participated and contributed to it. Later I realized, school authorities were trying their best to avoid any unnecessary delay and were making sincere efforts for smooth functioning of their process.

This triggered my thought process, and I felt that in today’s world we live in state of constant criticism and denial. Allow me to explain it in detail.

In this times when technology has edge than any thing else. When we not only have access to rich and famous people, through their blogs; we even can make our comments on the opinion expressed by them (whether they really write their own blog and serious in reading viewers comments is another debatable topic). When we can comment on any article published on web. We think we can talk and criticize any person, process or idea.

We are so lost in this unfruitful criticism that we fail to introspect and rediscover ourselves. Come on, we have to agree that no ones life is perfect and there exist no living person (excluding Yogis) who is satisfied and happy with what live has given him and the way life is treating him. Instead of improving on us, we spend time on correcting and commenting others, which is obviously convenient and easy.

So we are in state of criticism towards outer world and denial towards our inner world. I think when we achieve doing exactly opposite we will be on true path of life. Accepting ourselves as we are, with our positive and negative strength and capacity. If we try to improvise or fine tune from this step then we will have some definite thing to achieve and cherish.

In short minding our own business and not interfering with others.

So, concluding on positive note I would like to end my thoughts. First let sincerely access ourselves before making comment on others. Let’s have harmony inside us, so that we might have near to perfect orchestra performing in our heart.

Bangalore BBMP Elections

TOI (Article: To The Point) Dated- March 21, 2010
http://lite.epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/TOIBG/2010/03/21/5/Img/Pg005.png
Below were the points or rather commandments given by parties to candidates for coming BBMP elections. Odd number is their point and even below is my view on it:

1. Dress up well. Button your shirts properly and be presentable. Avoid flaunting jewellery.
2. Good point, but what about massive wealth they have already accumulated. Do they think voters are fools to ignore that?
3. Be polite while shaking hands or wishing people. Body language is important. Don’t keep talking on mobiles during door-to-door visits. Shed egos and arrogance. No provocative speeches.
4. If they really act what is been told, it will really look a scene from comedy film. As they only mastered the Money language. And talking about shedding egos; Come on! Give those poor folks an attainable goal. Everyone knows what our politicians are capable off: to give provocative speeches. As that’s what matters to them. Playing with our feelings and emotions. It’s a way of emotionally blackmailing voters.
5. Don’t try to bribe educated voters with liquor or cash. It will boomerang.
6. Since most of the Indian educated voters don’t bother to vote. Rather concentrate on uneducated voters and try to woo them and hope for the best.
7. Don’t inconvenience students studying for exams by bursting crackers. Avoid loudspeakers.
8. Yes, don’t use these tactics now. Instead after elections (irrespective of power) use these and many such as Morcha, Dharna, Mass rally on any issue etc on weekdays and test the patience of not only students but all the commuters.
9. Don’t get into fights with supporters of rival candidates, even if provoked.
10. Rather, remember and note such incidents and pay-back (after the elections) when time is in your favor.
11. Listen to problems of citizens and appear to be sincere while promising them that they will be resolved.
12. No need to mention this point, as our politicians have been listening to common mans problems and worries since more than 60 years. Only thing is after winning election they concentrate on resolving their own problems and tend to ignore us.
13. Highlight your achievements and expose rivals’ misdeeds.
14. Point well taken, actually half point. Candidates will be in dilemma as, what achievements they can highlight? They can very well expose rivals misdeeds (over their own misfortune), so better focus on latter part.

Instead, of giving above action points. They should have given a single point agenda: Be responsible for all your actions, period.
I sincerely hope that with handful of options for common voters. He will exercise his rights with due diligence. Amen.

I don't understand!!

• When everyone knows that there is no Free Lunch exists, why we jump on Buy One Get One offers


• In advertisement when celebrity is promoting a product after being paid, why we purchase that product.


• As per our culture when donations and charity should not be disclosed in public, why people (who donate) paint their names on the wall and other things


• Is a new definition of Neta is 'Jo Deta nahi (except false promises) woh Neta'?


• When action is louder than words, why politicians keep on talking.


• Even after 60 years of independance, why we did not have strong national opposition party.


• When there is wide spread poverty and illiteracy, why our country spend more on defence.


• When Ravan kidnapped Sita, why did not Ram send dossaire to Ravan proving his involvement in the act.


• Even after many Saviours trying to save humanity, why most of the humanity is still bleeding.


• Why people eat non-vegetarian food, just to satisfy their taste buds (for few seconds)


• Lastly, when each and every religion teaches love and peace, why there is wide spread violence and hateret.


• One more.. when no one is going to read it, why I am expressing myself
  

Attack on Mumbai on 26 Nov 2008

Thank you, Guys!

There has been many things said and showed by TV channels and bloggers. I want to add my bit. I love this blogging concept (facility?). Even if I am good for nothing and a stupid common man (thanks to 'Wednesday'). I can express my views; on what steps Obama should be taking to recover world from global recession. Ok, enough on that.

I want to express my gratitude towards the terriorist who was involved in attacks in Mumbai. Imagine if they had not been tortoring us how would we know how spineless, senseless, effortless, useless etc. etc. our so-called Political leaders are. Who would have thought that these strong and powerful leaders of emerging Super-Power called India are really are. To what extent they can go either to save their own position (read as: chair) or to take undue advantage of inefficieny of current leading political party (being in opposition party).

One more thing which I want to say to these terriorist. Why they are wasting there efforts and money to show the world that they can attack any city/place in India. We Indians are like dead people, you dont require extensive planning and startegy to strike. You really can do it by your will, iresspective of place. Talking about Mumbai, it's enough to torture the city that is already dead. We are not only surrendered, but given up all our hope to fight against you. You guys are suppose to be strong and had gone through intensive training. Why you still want to target Mumbai. You have already proved your point and we (whether like it or not) accpeted it. Now, no need to prove it further from time to time.

Ok, enough about you guys. One thing now in my mind how to enable our leaders to take some (i am not using word 'strong') measures so that atleast whoever want to attack will think twice (if not more). I have come up with innovative (i say so) steps to wake up the politicians who pretent that they are in deep sleep:

1. Not to invite them to any function/ceremoney/meeting.

2. Not to attend the fucntions where these guys are sitting on the dias.

3. This is one is slightly aggresive; to throw stones (come on, not stones, but atleast tomatoes, potatoes or even paper balls to them whenever they are in public place.

4. Vote for ____; I am not able to zeroed on any particular party. All are good (seriously).

5. I am still thinking......, you can also come up with your own ideas.

As I like to end it on positive note. Let's hope that these series of events will emerge a new leader which everyone is desparetly waiting for, who will lead us towards Stong and Powerful country.

Is there a MUSLIM MINDSET

On Special Report – Sunday Times 21st September, 2008
Article: Is there a MUSLIM MINDSET

http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Repository/getimage.dll?path=TOIBG/2008/09/21/13/Img/Pg013.png

I was surprised and shocked after reading the article. It is totally one sided and biased. Not a single Muslim has expressed their desire or possible solution to it. For me they are crying foul. No one openly blamed or condemned the individuals or groups of their community for current situation, rather these people are busy in blaming Hindus for their current state of mindset.
I was very disappointed to know from the notable activist, actress, author (who contributed to the article) no one dares to recommend some solution for the problem.

As per my understanding the gap can be bridge by building confidence from both the communities. For which Muslims (along with Hindus) has to take one step forward. But with Congress and other parties supporting there vote banks and BJP opposing for the same reason this seem to be distinct dream.

Who is to blame for poor literacy rate amongst them? Who is to blame for there economic conditions? No one has the guts to do introspection on it. Everyone is taking an easy route of blaming others.

Someone even mentioned that Hindu group’s aggression and destruction is handled by soft hands. Now this is ridiculous, what is wrong is always wrong. I want to ask the gentleman if he will be satisfied if police take a stern action against such activist.
Even after that the root cause of the problem will remain the same.

If they are so concerned the way they have been treated. They should first try to create a consensus to stop the anti-national activities or at least be vigilant of suspicious behavior in their area. Otherwise the day is not far when there will be ‘Right of Admission reserved’ in hospital against them.

Let me tell them, we have not developed our mindset overnight. But it was after repeated attacks on our country and systematic way of disturbing peace in our country. This was eventually carried out by our Muslim brothers. After that we have no other option than to believe that irrespective of social and financial status any person can turn into terrorist. In fact today’s nasty guys are very well educated and had even worked for some of the top MNC’s.

Be selective rather than sorry!!

May be some day I would rather read a article; Muslim Mindset; Muslims are responsible for.